I think for most of my life, I searched for the unknowable God! I searched in many different ways, books, denominations etc. I have had books in my hands that I thought of searching, reading etc. That sometimes they seemed so far off that I would donate them or toss them out. There were so many different beliefs of what the bible said, and so many different faiths that had of lists of " you can not do items". I am no authority on any thing. But the God I learned of as a child was a mean God, and I was fearful of that God most all of my life. A few years ago after losing my husband that I had prayed so many prayers for his healing, and had so many praying for his healing-- I turned my back on any God. I backed away from organized religion. I always felt God was with me, that His/Her Spirit was within me, but I stopped talking to or having any faith in this Spirit as well. I decided to take a class called " The Voice for Love" it was a year long. It made my brokenness spot up as if on a huge billboard. What I saw there was that there were people from all over the world, of various faiths or just a love for God, a God that might not look like my idea of my God. And I learned from them that they would be blessed, that they would be healed etc. by their God, just as I had believed. And there God had a different name than mine. I began to notice how hurtful some faiths and their dogmas were to people who were on the fringes. I began to see that as the bible says in one place" they made the Gospel of no avail" of no avail to that one who has been so wounded by an earthly father, they can not fathom or embrace- God as Father. I learned that the Holy Spirit is truly within us and just wants to Love and guide us. I started to feel the presence of the Spirit guiding me. And I started to believe for the first time in my Life, that God had left His/ her Spirit within me for all of my life to guide me, to bless me, to love me. I walked away from the mainline church, I still go to the church of my choice. It is a church that is all about God's Love, if I can not be there one Sunday they do not condemn me. I have been on a journey. It was a fearful journey, I am still on that Journey. If you would like to share you thoughts, I would love to read them. Death made me change. The faith I grew up with did not allow grief, I was told to cry when a baby came into this world and rejoice when someone left. I could not do that. The loss of my husband, and my 2and a half year old great grandson, James in 2013, stopped me in my tracks. I would love to have a dialogue or just read what you think. Thanks for reading.