When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by your own taste.

Never continue dating anyone who is rude to the waiter.

Good sex should involve laughter. Because it's, you know, funny.

The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: "I apologize" and "You are right."

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Money is a lousy way of keeping score.

When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

Never marry a man you meet in a bar.

If he says that you are too good for him — believe it.

True friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. The same for true love.

Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

Never pass up an opportunity to tell someone you love them, or to show them.

Background and circumstance may influence who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

Choose only the sweetest of words. You may have to eat them.

Something done in an instant can give you heartache for life.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!