He is one of the most successful musicians of our time. If you google "Kim", her name comes up.
Her birthday is the same as mine.
When they married, I overheard some reporters on TV laughing about how they didn't have a chance.
I have never heard Kanye's music. I have never seen Kim's TV show. I know they have sought out, and obviously received, incredible notoriety.
But to actively predict they won't make it?
It reminded me of a wedding shower I attended years ago. Women only. First marriage for this young girl. She had invited a lot of her mom's friends. Wine was flowing. As she was opening her gifts, a few women began making toasts.
"Good luck with this one, sweetie. Just get it over with so you'll get to the one that's gonna last".
"Hope you make it longer than I did..."
'Whatever you do, don't sign a pre-nup.."
It was awful.
I got up. Said something positive, but the future bride already appeared fairly traumatized by the whole thing.
I am certainly no Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm. I can be as sarcastic as the next guy. And I know that people in groups do things they would not do as individuals. You add a little alcohol to the picture.... there you go.
It felt like older "wiser" women were just being cynical. Negative. Maybe out of hurt or anger that had not healed.
But it was too much.
Folk lore says we get "more so" as we get older. Whatever have been our characteristics, we lean more in that direction.
More recent research has suggested that we can actually get happier if we want to - if we try. And certainly, as I have stated here on Boomeon, I have seen many people make changes in themselves.
I don't think that cynicism and age have to be married to one another. Experience... Wisdom... Sure. Those... one hopefully gains. But seeing the world or other people darkly? Negatively?
In what I do for a living, which is therapy, I hear every day about truly tragic and cruel things adults do or say to children. Or to each other. Things that can mar that person's life. Things they have to work very hard on to feel recovered.
And I hear about wonderful things. Grandparents that took up the slack. An aunt who always noticed. A teacher who didn't know what was going on at home but supported and encouraged. A best friend who listened.
Those latter stories give me hope. Make me believe that we humans are mostly trying to live life well, despite our flaws.
Just FYI, divorce rates appear to be decreasing in the United States, according to several reports.
So I hope Kanye and Kim are doing fine.
The young girl in the story did get a divorce. But is happily remarried.
I choose to remain optimistic.
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Dr. Margaret Rutherford is a clinical psychologist who has been in private practice for over 20 years in Fayetteville, Arkansas. She began blogging in 2012 after her only son left for college, coining the term "NestAche" for her empty nest experience. Not only here on Boomeon, she has been featured on the Huffington Post, Midlife Boulevard, BetterAfter50, BlogHer, Readers Digest, The Cheat Sheet and ArkansasWomenBloggers. Her new eBook, "Seven Commandments of Good Therapy", a basic guide on choosing a therapist or evaluating your current therapy, is available for free on her website. You can find her at DrMargaretRutherford.com or on Twitter @doctor_margaret.
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