Two questions for all of you who are actively 'looking' for dates/romance:

Just as with buying a house...it makes the process easier if you have a pretty good idea of what you want, what you will not tolerate and yet are able  to  be open to  discovering  something  that you didn't think was crucial  but ends up being important. Using the house example, when I c ame to this village to look at houses it was with a list my daughter and I had made of wants and 'deal-breakers'.  This place had all but  two (garage and fenced area for dog (the whole 4.9 acres is fenced but  not in  way that would keep dogs in---it sure doesn't  keep the wildlife out--and that's fine by me). None of 'deal breakers' were present. But had something  I hadn't thought of ahead of time as 'must have'...that it would  be rural and with low light pollution  (for star gazing) and far enough from neighbors that their radios/ tvs didn't drive me crazy were on the list.  But then we pulled up here and I turned around in  a circle and was 'in  love'---the land and OMG the view...I was a goner. 

By the same token, you may not think you require a shared interest in  something specific (music, animals, a cause) just acceptance of your fondness for whatever...you may not think you require a person who can be 'back up' (is practical where  you are not, or  able to help you relax when you' re uptight) for you.  BUT  might  be caught off guard when someone displays a characteristic you hadn't realized was  terribly desirable to you, you may be 'falling' before you know it.  That is when your  lists really come into play.  You need to sit down, preferably with a good long time friend who knows you well and cares deeply enough about  you to be honest. You have to look rationally at  your lists and  the object  of your affection and ask yourself if you can 'long-term, truly accept the compromises to what you  thought you wanted and didn't want. The long  time friend can remind you of relationships where you 'settled' but eventually it fell apart   because your  needs/wants were not being met and or  behavior  you couldn't tolerate (at least not for  long) was being displayed.

It might be fun  to share lists here.   They don't have to be long, if they are...you may have hit on why you haven't 'found someone'.    You may be too picky, demanding.   That's another upside to making  these lists...doing  so can help you prioritize what factors are really important to  you.