Two questions for all of you who are actively 'looking' for dates/romance:
Just as with buying a house...it makes the process easier if you have a pretty good idea of what you want, what you will not tolerate and yet are able to be open to discovering something that you didn't think was crucial but ends up being important. Using the house example, when I c ame to this village to look at houses it was with a list my daughter and I had made of wants and 'deal-breakers'. This place had all but two (garage and fenced area for dog (the whole 4.9 acres is fenced but not in way that would keep dogs in---it sure doesn't keep the wildlife out--and that's fine by me). None of 'deal breakers' were present. But had something I hadn't thought of ahead of time as 'must have'...that it would be rural and with low light pollution (for star gazing) and far enough from neighbors that their radios/ tvs didn't drive me crazy were on the list. But then we pulled up here and I turned around in a circle and was 'in love'---the land and OMG the view...I was a goner.
By the same token, you may not think you require a shared interest in something specific (music, animals, a cause) just acceptance of your fondness for whatever...you may not think you require a person who can be 'back up' (is practical where you are not, or able to help you relax when you' re uptight) for you. BUT might be caught off guard when someone displays a characteristic you hadn't realized was terribly desirable to you, you may be 'falling' before you know it. That is when your lists really come into play. You need to sit down, preferably with a good long time friend who knows you well and cares deeply enough about you to be honest. You have to look rationally at your lists and the object of your affection and ask yourself if you can 'long-term, truly accept the compromises to what you thought you wanted and didn't want. The long time friend can remind you of relationships where you 'settled' but eventually it fell apart because your needs/wants were not being met and or behavior you couldn't tolerate (at least not for long) was being displayed.
It might be fun to share lists here. They don't have to be long, if they are...you may have hit on why you haven't 'found someone'. You may be too picky, demanding. That's another upside to making these lists...doing so can help you prioritize what factors are really important to you.