No matter how hectic it gets, it's still the "Holidays."
It's a time to rejoice.
It's a time to reconnect with family.
It's a time to be "thankful."
As a Baby Boomer that is doing everything he can to fight off the depressing physical inroads of aging, I think one of the greatest things to be "thankful" for is my capability to still perform at a high level sexually.
I'm not bragging, I'm applying for a job.....OK, Yes, I'm kidding.
What I am talking about is being thankful for still experiencing the wonderful, intense, all-inclusive, full climaxing fulfillment of the sexual orgasm.
Even at the age of 58 I can still "make it happen."
Despite everything else that is happening to our bodies, being able to physically continue the promulgation of our species is truly something to be thankful for.
Are you shocked or embarrassed by what I am saying?
Do you think it's still a subject best discussed behind closed doors?
It seems to me that there is a lot more exposure to sexual topics (like everything else) these days, but the majority of what we hear covers issues with our performance or the obstacles we face.
Why isn't there more open deliberation on the positive aspects of sex and physical intimacy after the age of 50?
Are folks our age still wrestling with the puritanical innocence we were raised with during the 40's and 50's?
Well, my guest post today is by Beth Portolese and she has something to say about this issue.
She's annoyed about the way we are treating our sexuality and she is doing something about it on her website "FiftyisthenewFifty.com."
Here's what she has to say in her article "50+ And (Still) Sexually Fecund"...................
When was the last time middle-aged people were associated with sex in the media that ddidn'tinvolve an ad for erectile dysfunction? Right. Frankly, I’m beyond annoyed about sex being solely the domain of youth as portrayed in the press.
As publisher of "FiftyisthenewFifty.com", the online magazine targeting people in their 40's, 50's and 60's, I want to open a conversation on this issue, and hope to keep it moving everywhere and anywhere.
The image of two people in their 50's, sitting side by side in separate bathtubs just screams hot sex, doesn’t it? Ads, movies and porn these days only feature younger people having sex. While the 20 year olds might be nice to look at, do they really have better sex than those of us in our 50s? I think not.
The rules about sex change as we age. Does the third date rule still apply when we think about having sex for the first time in a new relationship? What type of physical issues can be an obstacle to having a fulfilling sex life in middle age? Joan Rivers' joke about her vagina being so dry that when she took a bath the water was sucked up into it was an exaggeration, but the problem does exist. What types of sex toys are good for women in their 50s? How is gay male daddy culture revolutionizing the sex life of gay men? What does polyandry after 50 look like? Why does the legend of middle-aged lesbian bed death persist? We explored all these topics and more during our week of sex in September 2014.
"FiftyIsTheNewFifty" discusses sex in middle age because no one else seems to be doing so. When you look at what is in the media, you might believe everyone ceases to be sexual on their 45th birthday. However, if you’re a boomer reading this, you well know, it is far from reality. Whether you are gay, straight, bisexual, sexually fluid, or otherwise, sex can get much better as we get older; we are more experienced, patient, and more comfortable with ourselves. We also know exactly what we want.
I’ve always thought that it was odd that when we finally start accepting our looks, we are told we have "lost" them. But where have they gone?
We still have great sex – wrinkles, gray hair, cellulite, larger bellies, and all. The problem is that nobody seems to want to hear about sex after 50, or even after 40.
In the excellent 1982 move Tootsie, Teri Garr has a hilarious rant where she screams at Dustin Hoffman, “ I’m responsible for my own orgasm.” In our 50s, many women realize just how true that is. After often sacrificing our own satisfaction to satisfy our partners, we decide we deserve sexual satisfaction too. This enhances our sex life enormously!
Women who are not partnered many prefer sex with no strings. Younger men, raised watching Samantha on "Sex and the City", are only too glad to help them out. We found that there is a good amount of couples in their 50s who start ‘swinging’ for the first time to enhance their sex life. The advent of online dating and communication has opened up a whole new avenue to find sex and allowed people to search on sites for people interested in specifically being with someone who is older. Those who associate gay sex exclusively with hot young males would be surprised to learn that middle-aged gay men are having more fun in bed than younger guys. And lesbians don't shrivel up after 50, either, by the way. Statistics on STIs and boomers indicate practicing safe sex is a necessity at every age.
Who knows all (or any) of this is happening? Certainly not mainstream media, which rarely covers or discusses sex for anyone older than 30 in a positive or exciting manner. Mainstream media coverage of sex and older people is generally limited to the problems that hamper sex life and not the sexual fulfillment that comes with age.
We know sex does not stop at thirty. Hoping the entire boomer contingent is having lots of fun out there.
Are you annoyed about how it is being treated in the media?
Please leave your comments below.
I would love to hear your deepest, darkest, innermost secrets.
Do you think anyone else our age shares the same feelings?