Sometime in the recent past the small, medium and large coffee went the way of the eight track, the cassette player and the analog TV.
Boutique coffee shops such as Starbucks and Coffee Bean offer coffee drinks that have become works of art, with exotic names like Cinnamon Dolce Creme, Mocha Frappucino and Carmel Macchiato. And as if learning the names of these new drinks isn’t enough, we now have to familiarize ourselves with the new sizes being offered.
At Starbucks they have tall, grande and venti. At Coffee Bean they serve small, regular and large.
Doesn’t “regular” mean what one usually orders? “I’ll have my regular.” Isn’t it presumptuous to assume that everyone’s regular is the drink in the middle?
Yesterday at the mall, I could have ordered an ernome from a barista who was only too happy to add an extra shot of caffeine for only .25 cents. Such a deal. An enorme coffee alone was enough to give me the jitters.
Every now and then I do stumble upon a small, medium and large menu. But then a small is what used to be medium, a medium is what used be a large and well…you get the picture. Food in this country has become Super Sized. Is that to fit our stomachs or our expanding egos?
So the other day with my tall coffee in hand I went to visit my grandson. After one of his grande hugs, he excitedly showed me his report card. All 4’s. Fours! It appears that the grading system now uses numbers. What happened to the good old A,B,C,D & F system?
Speaking of numbers, the last time I went shopping I was completely confused as to what size I should buy. The store’s sizing started with a zero and went to up to four. Now, I’m a small person, so I guess I’d be a negative number. Who wants to feel like they’re less than nothing? And really who is getting fooled? If you’re a four at this shop, well, then you’re a large. Oh excuse me, a venti.
Yes, the world is changing, whether we like it not. Things are looked at and labeled differently than when we were young. Back then a woman with a hot flash – was a woman with a hot flash. Today- well, we’re called hormonally challenged women.
And I say that’s enough of a challenge without having to learn how to order a coffee drink!
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Janie Emaus believes that when the world is falling apart, we're just one laugh away from putting it together again. She writes about how life is NOW compared to THEN, with her special blend of funny and sweet. She is the author of the time travel romance, Before the After, and the young adult novel, Mercury in Retro Love. And she has an essay in the Best Selling humor anthology, You Have Lipstick On Your Teeth. She is a staff writer at In The Powder Roomand blogs frequently for The Huffington Post. She is proud to be named a 2013 BlogHer Voice of the Year. To learn more about Janie visit her blog www.theboomerrants.com and her website www.JanieEmaus.com.